Follow Ur Heart

Just read a book called "Follow Your Heart" by Andrew Matthews about finding purpose in your life and work.

Recently, I've many fucked up things like the fucked up taxis, fucked up accident, fucked up injuries, fucked up IO, nearly fucked up cannot go BMT, fucked up keep withdrawing money from my bank,and fucked up two-headed snakes around me. And it's 9th time I say "fucked up".

Like this, I can keep on and on with my "fucked ups" about my life and people around me. But, what's the point? No point...

From young, I kept on wondering, why the heck my parents brought me to this world, this family. Wondering why THIS KIND OF family. Money - Quarrels - Money AGAIN - Suicides - MONEY MONEY AND MONEY. Is money that really important?Can it buy love? I always dream of having lots of money, then my whole family will be together. But don't think so now. Even my dad won Toto, he will keep to himself,or at most some to me, but not my mom,sis or bro. In the end half of them still poor. My mom wouldn't go back to my dad, neither my sis nor my bro. Probably life for me might change - buy new car, bike, clothes, or new facelift for my room, etc. But it does not FACELIFT my FAMILY. I always complain to God "Why always me?", "Why always give me this kinda shitty things happening to me? and why not others?".

Now I know all these are lessons for me. Lesson teach me not to see money so important.

Imagine if I'm fucking rich from young, I wun be the Cecilia I am now. I'll be proud, arrogant.....But if I am poor but my wealth are growing slowly by working hard, I will save money, buy neccessary things,do meaningful things or even donate more money if I'm am richer.

If I din have the accident, I might not learn to keep a longer distance and also keep away from taxis. If din have this accident, WORSE, I might go at higher speed and just die on the spot.

The people I hate to see, hate to talk to. They are just THERE - in my life. No choice have to see and talk to them. Just accept them lor. If my life wun have these people, I wun know what are two-headed snakes. Books don teach me how to look out for these people. It is lessons from life that we know. Driving Theory Books also din tell me TAXIS were dangerous. All this comes from life experiences. Only from life experiences, we know who are these people, what are the problems and BOOOOMMBB!!! -comes the 'disasters' when it happens, we learn it.

Most of the times when the 'disasters' come, we tend to say 'why me?' and not learn it. Probably locked urself for a week or sometimes even for a month from people who care for you, and many great things which you've missed. What's the point? The sun still rise, the raining clouds still move away, now you still in one piece and still have to live on. Just live on lor. Either you can choose to be happy or sad. Nobody can help you. Not even God. He wun say," don be sad, next path I giving you will be great happiness." No, God don act this way, seriously. If you don move at all, if you just locked urself up, you still end up locking urself up.

So for me, whatever has happened, HAS HAPPENED. Whatever has not happened, I'm ready to take it seriously. Love it or Hate it. Ur life will be depend on how you act and what you do, how you react to different situation. Life will never be easy. Even when you're old,retired,having lots of money,but ur health still deteriorates. 生死病老.

So given two choices - live it HAPPILY or FULL OF COMPLAINTS?


of course happily lor.

Now I learnt not to complain. Coz I know I have the people I loved around me. My dad,mom,sis,bro(yea, he still my bro,love or hate him),baobei,sistaz,buddy,machi,friends, god ma/dad, aunties etc..what for I complain..I got what I wanted,bikes,cars don have but I know sooner or later..BMT passed. So now what? COME ON,GIVE ME MORE CHALLENGES! I WANT TO GROW!

of course don implicate my loved ones. Even it does, I take it. I am ready for it.not say I wished for.but I guessed I'm ready.

.;*'^^DreamsComeTrue^^'*;.